Monday, March 2, 2015

The Cycle

 Just to see him laugh and smile more would be joyous enough.  The frown he wears on his face is so heartbreaking that I sometimes don't know how to comfort him. It brings back so many unwanted and hurtful memories, but I don't ever remember being this sad.I know what he's missing, but I can't really fix the relationship between him and his father. I dare not to fix the relationship that I had with his father. I couldn't even fully fix my relationship with my own father.  My father and I talked, we just never bonded. He said he's tired of being disappointed. I know I sure was tired. It's no fun depending on others.  The one person that won't disappoint you, is yourself. I sure hope the lessons I'm teaching him will make him a dependable man one day. Now my father, his grandfather is dead, and that relationship can never be fixed. I don't want him to have the kind of relationship I had with my father, awkward and useless. Ioften felt like I  was in the company of a stranger when I was around my father.  Its time to end this cycle and break the link.

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